Sent to me from a friend – I just had to share. It’s long…but …I say read it anyway.
GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED.
For years and years they told me,
“Be careful of your breasts.
Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them
And give them monthly tests.”
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a mammogram.
“Okay,” I said, “let’s do it.”
“Stand up here real close” she said,
(She got my boob in line),
“And tell me when it hurts,” she said,
“Ah, yes! Right there, that’s fine.”
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it’s viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
“Take a deep breath,” she said to me,
Who does she think she’s kidding?!
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
“There, that’s good,” I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
“Now, let’s have a go at the other one.”
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I’ll bet SHE’S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone “ker-pow!”
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I’d like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
Okay, gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember…Breast Cancer Awareness. Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends — and even your enemies, because the WORST enemy is breast cancer.
Ooh, that gave me such a giggle :jump: fantastic!
But, on a serious note, it’s extremely important to be vigilant about your health and your breasts are high up on the list.
At the ripe old age of 31, I’ve had two mammograms, two breast ultrasounds, one needle guided biopsy and one full on surgery to benign tumor, none of it was fun, but it was necessary!\
Thanks for the giggles, Sasha 😀
WOW. You’ve been through a lot, S.D, and I am so glad all turned out well!
I must go get my own Mammies Grammed soon. 😆
S.D and I have plenty in common, except I was 21 at the time. Have to have yearly mammograms done which sux but is necessary.
The poem is cute and hopefully reminds all women to take care of their feminine health. Thanks for sharing Sasha.
Ladies, it is a must because the odds are getting worse. Early detection is paramount to survival.
Get on board and make your annual appointment near your birthday. My Dr. advised me to do that so I wouldn’t forget.
Be a fighter!! Promote awareness!!
Cute poem – I will see my Mom and sister this weekend so I’ll remind them.
:great:
Loved the poem. Although I lost mine to breast cancer, I still remember how the mamograms hurt. I remind all my female relatives and friends to have them done regularly. I like the idea of doing it around one’s birthday. I will pass that on.
Thanks, Sasha.
P.S. FYI, there is a new machine the FDA is testing that will hopefully do away with the current way of doing mamograms. Let’s hope it’s soon. There will be no pain when you have it done. I’m all for that.
Hey Barb, Yes, the idea of Birthday sis a good one, so we all remember. A new machine would be good, but honestly, a little pain once a year isn’t too bad. 🙂