Testing….1,2,3
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Testing….1,2,3

On Friday night at work I was very upset, due to the hiring of someone I really preferred to not have in my life, and one of my regular customers told me that God was testing me. Well I’m wondering how freaking long this test is going to last? :crazy:

I’m ready to quit my job, quit writing, run away, kill someone, commit suicide (well, ok, maybe not commit suicide…but run even further away). Yet, here I sit. Getting ready to try and just get through another day. I do have faith that everything happens for a reason. and I guess I even believe God is testing me…(Yet, I kinda don’t even believe in GOD per se…but of a higher being.) The only thing I am sure of…is that if this TEST doesn’t end soon. I’m going to need a mental institution, or possibly end up in jail. Strangely, it’s not those things that scare me…it’s the fact that I am, selfishly, so tempted to do some things that I KNOW are wrong, but I want to do them to make myself feel better.

Then again, my Mom always told me. “Look out for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you.”

She was right. Or maybe….Jake!! Where are you and those damn cookies when I need you?

:hehe:

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11 Comments

  1. Sylvia Day

    \"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."\
    **Franklin D. Roosevelt**

    I love you, sweetie, and I know things are hard right now, but they **will** get better, things will come through for you. And we’ll all be here to cheer you on.

  2. Jake

    I’m right here, Sasha baby. Why don’t you hang on and let me do those things you’re thing of doing that you know are wrong…I’ve done lots worse and no one has figured out how to catch me yet. πŸ˜‰

  3. Steph T.

    ((Sasha)))

    As someone who has been through the whole, ‘everything happens for a reason,’ stuff in my life with my daughter, I understand what you’re going through. Really. And I know that doesn’t make it any easier when you’re going through it, but there is a light at the end – (People used to love to tell me that God only gives you what you can handle and I would tell them that God severely overestimates what I can handle *g*) just do what Sylvia says and hang on to whoever you need to and know we’re all here for you. πŸ˜€

  7. Sasha

    I just want to say thanks to all of you that visit my Blog and share part of yourselves, with me. Because even though we are talking about me, and my current dip into the drama pool, you are sharing part of yourselves by listening, and commenting. I know that my personal problems right now aren’t really about writing, but somehow, just babbling about them, and venting makes me feel better. And coming home from work, to see these reply’s and the support you offer, to me, someone you’ve never met, (well except Sylvia..she met me..and we drooled over Tarzan together πŸ˜‰ ) well, it literally makes my heart smile!

    In fact, the only good news I’ve had lately revolves around my writing friends, who I am so happy for, and who, even when they are flying high, have the time to talk, and listen to me bitch.

    In my day to day life, I’m not much into DRAMA, I prefer to keep it all in my stories…so I am actually not handling any of this the way I would LIKE to. I know it’s because I’m not used to sitting back and keeping my mouth shut. When I have a problem I tend to run at it…head on. This keeping my Mouth Shut business SUCKS!! But I do believe I’ll skip the Voodoo doll, and take Jake up on his offer…and reward him well!!

    THAT will make me feel better! πŸ˜‰

  10. Cece

    Not only does everything happen for a reason (yeah I’ve been there too LOL) maybe this is a lesson. That’s what I have to tell myself when sh*t sucks really bad. Mom alwasy said "and this too shall pass," and damn her, she was always right :hehe:

    hang in there sweetie!

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