Yesterday I admitted that I know it’s my own fault that I’m not where I want to be. That I have a hard time finding balance in my life. The strange thing is, I don’t really even have that much going on. I mean I have writing, and I want to get back in shape, and I want to keep working (Part time). It shouldn’t be hard. I’m single, I have no kids, no one to answer to but myself.
Yet, I’m floundering.
I think about how much I used to do, every day, and I wonder how I got so lazy. What happened? It’s not age, I know I don’t look or feel my age . . . so what happened? Where did my DRIVE go? My first priority right now is writing, but why is so hard to keep up with the others? I think I have a bit f an obsessive personality. When I was in martial arts, it was everything to me. Sure I worked, and partied *blush* but even hung over or with little sleep, I trained every day, sometimes twice a day.
When I wanted to travel, I trevelled. Nothign stopped me. Now I’m that way with writing. It’s all I do.
This habit has been something I’ve been trying to break for a while. The search for balance has been happening all year. I’ve had false starts, good results, then I slack off again. I just can’t seem to find my own staying power.
A while ago my buddy JJ Massa started to post pictures of a pretty hot guy on her blog. Teasing us all that she had a “special project” going on.
When the Essense Trilogy was revealed I admit, I drooled over the covers like everyone else. Andrei is hot. I especially like this cover. The attitude, the unbuttoned jeans, the implication of what Everything entails. Yummy…anyway..I’m getting off track here.
Cover model Andrei Claude has joined JJ at several chats and he’s pretty cool. Me being me…a woman that loves pictures of men . . . followed a link to his website one day. And got a kick in the pants.
This guy is more than a pretty face and hot body.
His website reminded me it’s all about dedication and desire. It’s not about balance. I’ve always been a firm believer in the “anything is possible if you put your mind to it” way of living. But going to his website reminded me that I hadn’t really put my mind to much lately.
Much other than writing,that is. But the writing is going well, it’s the other directions that I need to think about. I need to decide just how badly I want those other goals. I’ll never go back to training the way I did when I was competing, but I do want to feel like an athlete again. Even if it’s only a weekend Athlete, not a full time one.
So, if I whine again, remind me. It’s all about desire…what do I want . . . and how bad do I want it?
I want it enough to go the gym more than three days a week (which is what I’ve been doing). I want it bad enough that when I went grocery shopping today I walked to the store instead of drove, and didn’t get any junk. I grabbed cereal so I’ll start eating breakfast again (it’s just so damn hard to make myself function when I wake up…eating is an effort…LOL) , and I didn’t get any POP! No Diet Coke, or Dr.Pepper or anything. I admit..that was hard. Soda Pop is a real addiction for me. When I get real grumpy in the next week, it’s caffiene withdrawal.
So, if you need a little inspiration…and really, who doesn’t? Check out Andrei’s website and be sure to surf his galleries. There are some truely great pics there. My fave is Gallery 3. 😎
Balance is not something that is reached, it’s something we all fight to come close to. It’s like a teeter-totter. A true balance is hardly ever met, you just keep going up and down trying to achieve balance, but continually working at it.
We are all up and down, as long as you know what you are chasing, catching it really isn’t all that important.
Muah…..
And I’ll pat your butt and stare at your boobs. How’s that for moral support?
I do agree with Os. Balance is the thigin to strive for…it’s just that sometimes I give up. I never used to give up on anything! But, I’m back in the saddle again…LOl
Beth, I can always count on you, my spirit sister, for a kick in the ass.
And Os to make it feel better after the kick. 😛
I soooo understand about all of it; the lack of motivation, everything.
And I was addicted to soda too. AND coffee! I gave them both up, though, years ago. Soda first, oh…probably 10 years ago. Then coffee just a couple of years ago.
Now I have green tea every morning and an herbal tea at other times if I feel like drinking something for comfort, instead of soda or coffee.
You’ll feel better, as you know! 🙂
I know you can do this, Sasha. Sometimes it’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and *making* it happen!
Besides, I’m invested in the book you’re working on; I HAVE TO READ IT!
Do do it for me, Sasha. If you need a reason, take pity on me. 🙂 *smiles*
Thanks Amber. Youknow. I really do like Green tea too. One of the few hot beverages I’ll drink.
As for the story. You’ll be happy to know I should hit page 200 today, with a few tweaks in the first part. I WILL finish it, and yes, you’ll definitely be one of the first to read it. 🙂
You and me both.
I have a terrible time with balance. It’s been on my mind constantly these days, and I’ve thought about addressing the issue in my blog because I’m having such a struggle with it. I think I’ll do that now.
Such weighty thoughts… strangely enough, I agree with Os. Balance is a goal that most of us never reach, but can come close.
You can be grumpy with me anytime, I’ll give you support, love, and the occasional kick in the ass when needed. :rolleyes:
One must have unbalanced (discord), to truly appreciate life when it is balanced. To know the difference, working to change it, is the goal. If every thing fell into your lap, you would not appreciate it as much as if you worked for it. So, work it girl…
Tip of the day: try drinking green tea, it is good for the body — helping to lose those unwanted pounds.