I have this customer who comes into the bar, and ever since he found out I was a writer, he always asks about it – in a way that puts my back up.
He isn’t cute, or hot, or even nice and easy to talk to. I didn’t tell him I was a writer, he over heard one of the girls asking if I met a deadline, or about some other writing thing (Can’t remember what exactly) and being a nosy guy sitting at the bar, he then began to question me. As I am not ashamed of what I write, I answered his questions. Sort of.
There’s another type of customer that always puts my back up, and pretty much any servers. This is the type of customer who thinks that SERVER equals SERVANT. This type often thinks that a server is someone who can’t get a “better” job, and they often look down their nose as they ask for things, and demand all your attention and basically become a pain in the ass.
This guy sort of combines that attitude with his questions. I’m sure if you’ve read an authors blog before, you’ve notice that one thing that is annoying is when people you don’t even know how much you make writing. Yeah, that’s one of this guys things. And in his eyes, because I still serve/bartend…I’m obviously not a good enough author to make a living. It goes something like this.
“So how’s the writing career going?” he asks.
“Good,” I say, with a bland smile.
“Get anything published yet?”
Me, gritting my teeth as we’ve been over this before. “Yep, novel number 10 just hit bookstores in September.”
“Yeah, but is anyone buying it?” he askes, a small sneer gracing his lips as he looks around the bar pointedly.
I just smile, and nod. “Yep. Can I get you another drink?”
Then I pour his drink, collect his money, and walk away.
It’s small, and while it sort of annoys me, it also makes me sad, and strangely, happy.
I think people who look down on others like that, or who deliberately try to make others feel small, do so because they need to. Yes, I think they need to do it on order to make themselves feel better about their own life. That makes me sad. And I like my life, so that makes me happy.
It’s easy to say I’m happy with my life. But really, when I sit down and truly think about things, I’m very pleased with the life I’ve built for myself. And that’s something not everyone can say.
Oh, and my break from writing has been 6 weeks now, and the urge to start a new novel, something a bit different, is growing within me. The idea hasn’t firmed up yet, but it’s growing. 😎
:blabla:
Sasha, I can relate, of course I live with someone like that…talk about toxic! I however am starting college in the spring, I hope to make the short list for respiratory therapy, they only take the top people. On a grander note :jump: Guess who is 40 today? Yep..me! I am so excited!!! I don’t even know why! I feel like I’m just starting over or something! Ya know my little sis, cried when she turned 30, and I’m like…giddy with the fact that I’m 40. I don’t get it, but I feel great and thats all that matters. That’s what you need to tell yourself all the time, I’m like you, I answer back but the conversation isn’t even registering! :sport:
He’s definitely the one with problems if he has to drink alone at bars. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.
Deidre
He’s a stupidhead.
I’m glad your urge to write is coming back to you 🙂
Happy birthday Scarlet!! I wish you the best of luck and most of happiness in the future!
Deirdre, I don’t think he’s just trying to get a rise out of me. I think he’s just clueless, or overly arrogant… as in he see’s nothing wrong with his questions or attitude.
Which is fine, it takes all kinds to make the world go round. I admit to a reflex defensiveness, but at the same time, I’m happy enough, and confident enough in my own life and shit to let it roll off my back.
Now, If my family or someone I cared about took that attitude…then it would get to me. LOL
Thanks Erin! *gin*
There are all kinds of characters around and, as you said, it takes all kinds … But it must be annoying if he is a regular at your workplace. He definitely needs someone to wise him up on what a jerk he is.
Tamsyn
I really hate the “if you aren’t making a million a year and hitting #1 on the NYT list it doesn’t count” definition of success. Don’t get me wrong, those things would be nice, but I can be a success without them. And a failure with them. (If I do it by turning my life into something I hate, that’s not success.) It’s much more important to follow your own definition of success than to have the approval of rude strangers.
Very glad to hear you’re cooking up something different! Me, too. It’s exciting.
LOL, I like Erin’s answer and all in all I have to agree. You’re probably right Sasha, that’s just the way he is. He can’t help himself.
Deidre
Le sigh. I’ve never understood how people figure it is polite to ask someone about their income. I doubt anyone goes up to people in any other profession and asks how much they make, so I don’t understand why they figure it’s okay to do that with authors. I have a habit of not discussing money so it absolutely drives me nuts when people ask me that question.
You hit it right on the head, Sasha. If a person constantly has to go out of their way to put someone down, they really are lacking something in themselves.
Hugs! All that matters is that you are happy with your life. So many people aren’t and those of us who are, are truly blessed.
Glad the urge to write has returned!
I am so with you on the “feel sorry for this type”……by all means it is his way of making himself feel big….poor short guy!
Darby
darbyscloset at yahoo dot com
How sad for him, Sasha–glad you’re letting it roll off your back, and SO glad you’re happy with your life–that’s the most important thing! Plus all your ecstatic fans, of course 😉
I had a freind who used to call it “Little Big Man syndrom” LOL I think that suited him well.
I’m not sure I would be as good at handling that type of person as you are. But, I’m definitely with you on it being a sad thing that some people, like that guy, have to try to put others down to make themselves feel better. *sigh*
:cursing:What a jerk…He is the type that would say–“Ya, I knew her when.” Pitiful a**hole. Your a great writer. Glad your getting the urge again!
Big hugs to you on having to deal with the idiota.
Sounds as if you’re in a good place in your hiatus – I admire you for letting it come to you and fall nicely into place rather than forcing something that doesn’t fit.
Have a great week!
This condescending attitude is but another example of the defensive shields that unsecure people put up to try to hide their insecurities about themselves. They feel superior only when they think they’ve shown someone else how inferior they “THINK” they are. It’s like the little boys who use bad words because they think they make people think they’re tough… it only works in their minds, never in real life. I’ve always kind of pitied these people, which would REALLY tick them off if they knew it… this makes me experience a tiny bit of personal joy everytime I’m polite to a rude person. : )
Donna, You sound like my mom. (That’s a compliment) SHe always used to say “Kill them with Kindness” when talking about idiots and assholes. 😎