Writing.

People have a variety of reactions when you tell them you’re a writer. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you.

Lately I’ve had a variety of reactions when I say I’m a writer. Does that surprise you?

A big part of me feels pride because everyone, at some point in the conversation, asks if you’ve been published, and I can answer yes. But a part of me feels like a fraud. It was 2 years ago I decided I needed a break to figure some things out, and I haven’t written anything new in over a year. I’ve written words, pages, even, but they’ve gone nowhere yet. They are just samples of ideas that tease my brain. None have truly caught my imagination yet, and this frustrates me. What frustrates me even more than that is the fact that I was waiting until one catches my imagination.

You see, I’ve never been someone who waited for inspiration before. I got into writing to change my career, change my life, and that was what motivated me. I followed Calls For Submissions, and I wrote what publishers wanted. That’s how I sold. But after several years of that, I was feeling burnt out- so I took a break. I thought I could take some time and write something ‘just for fun’ and I’d feel all re-juvinated. It never happened.

Only recently I accepted that no matter how much I want to be like many of my author friends who love to write, I have to be true to me. The truth is I don’t actually enjoy writing. I hate sitting at a desk all day, I suck at typing, and grammar rules confuse the hell out of me. However, I love holding a book in my hands and knowing that the story came from my imagination. It’s something I, and I alone, did. I don’t mind editing, and I enjoy promoting my work. I love talking about the stories and characters-after the book is written.

This is not to say I don’t feel satisfaction after a day at the computer when I look at my pages and think, “Wow, I like that scene.” I like telling the stories, I just don’t like typing them up. I love to brainstorm with friends. I’ll think of a great idea, and be excited about it so I’ll tell a friend about it. Then after I think about it, and talk about it, the urge to write it is gone. This is why writing a full synopsis beforehand is detrimental to me. This is why I don’t plot. It’s not that I don’t like writing the synopsis, or plotting out a story. I’ve learned that I don’t mind doing that stuff. They’re creative and fun, and take a short amount of time. But once those are done, I no longer have the urge to write the story. I already know how it ends, so for me, it’s time to move on. It’s the physical act of writing that I don’t really enjoy. And accepting that has helped me find out what I need to do to continue my career as a writer.

Armed with that knowledge I emailed Crissy Brashear, the publisher of Samhain. I love Crissy. She’s business smart, and she is available to her authors. She listened to me, and she didn’t laugh me off, or put me off. Nope, instead she told me what she wanted form me as an author, she got out her cattle prod, got me an editor to work with, and now I have a contract and a deadline. Yes, deadlines do me well. They motivate me. They help me turn off my brain so I can just write without thinking too much. What am I writing right now? Here’s a short blurb…

One Weekend
Sarah Wilson is in love. Rick Craig is her perfect match, he’s good looking, ambitious, and adventurous in more ways than one.
But what happens to their perfect relationship when another man comes between them, literally, and secret passions are revealed by all?

Novella, deadline Nov 15, release date April 2010.

Now I’m writing again. 😎