Dating

:ODianna asked if I date younger. LOL Well Dianna I almost hate to admit this, but…

I’ve only ever been on two dates in my life. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I never have. I like to think it’s because for most of my adult life I’ve worked nights. (serving or bartending) and while I get alot of guys flirting with me, and the occasional one asking me to go home with him. I’ve only ever gotten asked on an actual “date” by one or two that I have no interest in.

Isn’t that the way? And, I don’t really believe in dating just to be dating…unless I think there’s some potential for a relationship I’m not interested. In my life, it’s often a case of the guys that want to date me are guys that I am totally not interested in, and the guys I’m interested in aren’t interested in relationships…or they’re already in one.

I’ve been told I’m too picky, and I tried relaxing a bit, but it just isn’t me. I’m quit comfortable with having a lover, someone that is a friend as well as a bed buddy, until I meet that special someone. Me and my bed buddy are fully aware that that is what we are to each other and we spend most of our time together in his place or mine. We don’t go to dinner or movies or anything, we just chat and enjoy each others company in the bedroom. And while it isn’t how I always want things to be I’m ok with it for now. In my mind it’s better than being with someone that doesn’t make me happy, just for the sake of being with someone. (Andyes, the current BB is 7 years younger. :blush: )

I wrote my very first full length manuscript this past summer. A romance,(with steamy sex scenes of course!) And it was pretty much my fantasy that I told.(It was rejected…but I’ll rework it later because it’s a story I want to tell) A woman that’s never been able to settle down, that’s always moved around alot and has nowhere she calls home, starts an affair only to fall in love, in return…the man falls in love with her too! (This is where it’s different from my life!! lol) He doesn’t let her walk away when the intimacy intensifies. That’s my fanatsy, my dream man. A man that won’t let me walk away from him. (Not in a stalker-ish way though folks.:D ) I just mean that I want to be important enough for him to fight for. Because I know I can be a pretty confusing, demanding and even cold at times, after all….I’m a woman! But I want him to want the whole me, not just the flirty fun one.

I tell ya though…it’s all those Harlequins my Grandmother had me read when I was 12 years old. I want the fairytale. Will I ever get it? I’ve started to think NOT…but a part of me will always hope.