I’m in a weird mood. Or maybe I’m just weird? Or maybe I’m just finally starting to clue into things?
Hmm is that confusing? Let me start this post over.
There are times when I think I have friends, people who know me, and then there are times when it becomes clear that the people I think are friends don’t know me at all. Yet, people who I’ve never really considered friends, but co-workers or acquaintances, prove that they know me very well. By know me, I mean see beneath what you show the world. I know I’m not the only person out there who has a front or two that I use depending on who I’m with. Family sees one or two sides of me, certain friends see other sides, co-workers another. It’s very rare to let someone see too many sides or get too close because it makes us vulnerable. I’m not just talking about men or romance here, but girlfriends too. In fact, I often think girlfriends are more hurtful than lovers.
Yet, I still find myself surprised when someone I think knows me, hurts me. I don’t know how to handle it because I wonder if they did it unwittingly, or if they did it knowing I might be bothered, but not caring. Then I wonder if I need to stop being so narcissistic.:oops:
Anyway, it warms my heart when someone I’ve never really thought of as friend, shows that they are one.
An example: Last night I worked with a girl I’ve known on and off for about 7 years. We both work part time in the the bar, and have for that 7 year time span, but we’ve never really been friends. We’ve never gone out together aside from work /group functions. We talk at work, about all manner of things (seriously, talks when working in a bar can get very weird and personal and sometimes there is no such thing as personal space) But she’s not someone I’d call if I was in trouble, or someone I’ve shared hopes and dreams with. She’s not someone I would call a friend. She’s a co-worker I like and get along with. Yet, she proved, out of the blue, that she knows me, and that she’s there for me.
I love being surrounded by people with good hearts, and I need to work on removing others from my life, even if they were friends at one point. Because they’re not friends if they bring negativity into my life, right? Even if it is unwittingly done.
Like I said, I’m in a weird mood.
Life is weird.
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Life is weird. But often wonderful, too. I think this is kind of a penny-dropping time. I’m finally getting some insight into what actually works for me and how to get past what doesn’t. Maybe it’s the ways the stars are aligned.
Who Knows? I just need to think a bit, and start looking after myself, and take care with who I trust. It seems everytime I start to open up, someone does something to turn me all cynical again. But, shit happens, right? 😉
I’ve seen you on Delilah Devlin’s blog and decided to check out your books and blog. I can’t wait to dive into the books, but first had to comment after seeing this post. What you have said here has so much truth to it. When “friends” start bringing more negativity into our lives than positivity, than they aren’t really friends. Life is hard enough without having to deal with this people. It can be hard to know who to trust and your view isn’t cynical. It’s really smart to be cautious. So, continue to surround yourself with people with good hearts and give the negative “friends” the boot!!
Thanks Savonna. Delilah is one of the good ones, and I’m glad to count her as a true friend.
I’m Also glad you decided to come check me out, and hope you like what you find.
Delilah is great… I’m currently doing her online bootcamp and having a great time. I’ve looked at your books and my only problem is where to start!! I’m putting your website in my favorites and I have a feeling you’ll be one of the authors I recommend to my friends and family.