Recently, I had dinner with a guy I met online. I’d really enjoyed emailing him, and talking to him on the phone, and when we finally met, I enjoyed his company too. Now comes the really hard part.
He is very communicative and loves to talk about things. He’s been hurt int he past and he wants to talk things slow. I understand this. I was very open about my own lack of experience in serious relationships, so slow is good. You all know I tend to rush to the physical and then am not happy with the results. However, by slow, he hinted that it would be at least 3 months before he would consider being physical! Now I was thinking a couple of weeks. 😳
Now he comes even more. I like this guy, he’s nice, and sane and somewhat attractive. However, I didn’t feel the chemistry. You know what I mean? I didn’t get the “Oh, I like him” feeling. It’s more like, he’s nice, safe, sane, and I want to try a relationship.
So, I’m wondering if this is something I want to go with until I can’t wait anymore and say “Okay this isn’t worth it.” or should I just sort of back away now and continue my search for someone who does awaken the butterflies in my tummy?
Butterflies! Go for the butterflies!
Although, I went out with this guy a couple of times that I met at my office building when I worked for Ford. He was attractive, intelligent, fun, artistic, he was an actor and used to write me poetry, but I didn’t have that butterflies feeling with him…
The third time we went out, after a night cap at my place I walked him to the door, not really intent on kissing him goodnight….when he all of a sudden grabbed me pushed me up against the wall and kissed me…
WOW! FUCKING WOW! I felt a zing like lightening go through my body.
Needless to say the sex was fucking fantastic, He was so giving and inventive. It was always about me….
We dated for a few months, and it was great, he ended up going back to his ex-wife, which I encouraged because they had a kid together…but while it lasted it was great.
if u dont feel it in your tummy or chest that hey i think ill give this guy a try not just cause he is sane n safe but i think i relly like him. maybe if u keep dating him you will feel it. but if u have dated him for over two weeks n still dont feel it then your gut feeling will let u know what to do. follow your gut n feeling inside. never settle for second or third best we all deserve the best. :great:
Ditto, Janet. Some guys are grow-ers, some are show-ers. 😈
The show-ers are the instant chemistry/butter-flies in the stomach guys.
Other guys, kinda grow on you. You think they’re “nice” but they you start to appreciate their sense of humour, enjoy their company, notice their smile more, and the color of their eyes, their walk, the timbre of their voice, before you know it… baddabingbaddaboom. They gotcha!
Give a chance, like Janet suggested. Writing romance and or erotica, our hot dream guy is always a keystroke away. So it’s hard to deal with reality sometimes, where ‘our’ guys are usually the exception, not the rule.. 😉
I agree with Janet, give it a try and see where it goes. If you still don’t feel the chemistry then be honest with him and move on.
Cool. I’d already decided to give it some more time, but I wanted confirmation and encouragement. Y’know, to make sure I really DO give it more time. LOL
Thanks!
Hi Sasha,
I’m so glad you said that you rush the physical and regret it later. I do the same thing, we are not the only ones I’m sure.
As for the guy, for what its worth, stick with it for a couple weeks. He might grow on you, we’ve all gone for the butterfly inducer who turns out to a huge jerk. Good Luck Keep us posted!
I agree with Janet, too, but I luv Jaq’s explanation of show-ers and grow-ers. 😛 I say give it a chance, that first meeting is sometimes a very nerve wracking experience and more often than not, initial impressions aren’t that accurate. To quote Shrek, “we’re like onions, we have layers”.
Who knows what you might find once you peel away the tough exterior 😉
Either way, good luck.
Sorry I’m late in commenting, I have no excuse. 😳
Now I can say from experience that the butterflies are GREAT, but it’s the guys that you get to know, appreciate, and then eventually love that are keepers. The hotter the flame burns initially, the more quickly it burns out.
Fan that little flame of interest and it will burn a long time. Stick with it babe, at worse you spend some time with someone you like and have fun. At best, you find someone to fall in love with. :love:
I throw my vote with the majority before me. Stick with it for a time just to see where it goes, sometimes the butterflies get active quite suddenly.
I’m going for the keeo trying thing. I like Vivi’s WOW moment. LOL
Oh, I give this one a thumb’s up. I wanan know what happens! :love: