I used to be such an outgoing person. I was up for anything, anytime. But somehow, over the last four or five years I’ve turned into a bit of a hermit. I can still talk to anyone about anything, if I want to. But the only time I want to is when I’m at work, and getting paid to chat.
My best friend asked if she could come and live with me for a month and I said No. If she had no other options of course I’d help her out, but she has a lot of family around here and other places she can stay. My reasoning: at the end of the month I would hate her. I know this.
I know myself, and I know her. I love living on my own, I love comeing home from work after talking to everyone, and listening to everyone who sits at the bar talk about their lives, and having no one to listen to. I’ve turned my condo into my own little world, with just me, my cat, and my characters. I like it that way. (Well, if I could find a good home for the cat, I’d get rid of her too. I’d love a dog, but not in a Condo.)
Is this bad of me?
I turn down going to the movie with friends, and go by myself. Sometimes, I worry it might be a bit unhealthy, but then I think it’s just me realizing that my own time and energy is prescious, and I should use it/spend it in ways that make me feel good. After all, if I don’t take care of me…who will?
So, is this an age thing? As I get older I get pickier about who I spend my time with…or is this a writer thing? Since it all started about the time I decide to pursue writing.
Anyone else notice this happening??
Yes, I think it’s more of an age thingie 🙂
As one gets older, one gets more selective and set in their ways, comfortable in their own space.
I became a hermit after I became a writer. 🙁
😀 I’m like that. Since I work surrounded by people, I treasure every bit of time that I have alone. Also, this is a sign of aging. :crazy:
I think it’s a bit of both…writer and older. And no you’re not bad for telling her no!
I concur with Rob. I used to be such a social butterfly. Now, I rather curl up with the company of my books and my Master. I still do go out once a month for a sushi gathering with my girlfriends but I hardly ever go out to pubs or clubs.
I once had a good friend who stayed with me for 3 weeks. At the end of the 3 weeks we were hardly on speaking terms 🙁
Our internet was down yesterday till 7:00 p.m. By the time I got into your chat, Sasha, it was over.
I was upset to say the least. :angry:
I think it’s partly age, partly writer, partly (latent) personality & also, a societal trend. The more pressures and demands we have on our time (re work, family obligations, etc) the more we just want to be left da f*ck alone when we get home. lol. Nothing new really, think of the old cliche of the ‘man of the house’ coming home from a hard day at work, who just wanted a hot meal then be left alone for some peace and quiet to have a cold beer and veg out in his favourite chair.
Kat~ That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, I’d rather keep her as afirned than end up hating her at the end of it.
Kvev~ That sums it up perfectly.
Robyn~ Don’t worry. I have an Auhtor Day on Ebooklove on July 18 (I think) PLenty of times to come visit and chat!.
Jaq~ Different way of looking at it, but it makes sense!
I have to concur with everyone else. I think I have so little free time that it’s highly prized. So I don’t want to share my space, or often my time, with anyone. But yeah, it’s definitely gotten worse since I started writing. and you know what? I rarely if ever feel guilty about being a hermit.
Also agree with everyone here…
Think it’s a combination of aging and the writing thing. Almost every writer I know is hermit-like–and it doesn’t bother them.
Look at it this way; it means you like yourself, & you’re comfortable with who you are.
That’s a good thing. 🙂
I’ve always needed a lot more ‘alone’ time than other people I knew – I think a big part of it for me is being an only child and always having a lot of time for myself. If I’ve got too much to do or have been around too many people for too long, I really get overloaded and need to back off from the world.
I guess I picked a good profession to go along with my hermit-tendencies – or else, it picked me. 🙂
I have always been a loner. But during high school I sort of blossomed, becoming quite the social party girl until I met my husband at 27. Even then, I still preferred a lot of alone time, and my job in weather, where I worked totally alone in an office, was perfect, and kept me sane.
Now, as I grow older, I’m even more reclusive. I LOVE IT! 😀
I’m so like that, Sasha. I love being alone. I find being around people on my spare time drains me. When I’m done work, I just want to go home and write or chill. I really hate my time away from work to be infringed upon. It really pisses me off.
As I get older, I get busier. More interests. More of a sense of urgency to accomplish goals in my life. More responsibility and worst of all, more bills to pay. "My time" seems to be less and less…..so I enjoy it more and more, and am constantly trying to find more time for ME.
Plus, when alone, I can walk around my aptartment naked.
You know, I’ve always been a little like that, but it’s taken me aging to realize that this is how my personality works and that it’s okay to be like that without feeling too guilty.
A friend once said "Sometimes the people you love the most, you just can’t live with."